Selling Your Parents’ House: The Trials & Tribulations (Pt2)

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You might disagree with your siblings, or worse.

Sometimes, we know when this is coming.  Other times, we don’t.

The most difficult familial situation I ever dealt with was for the sale of an estate about ten years ago where there were four children and none of them spoke.

To complicate matters, the deceased left the home to one of the four children, for reasons that were completely fair and made perfect sense, but that I won’t get into today.

The other three children were suing the rightful heir of the home, but she was one of those salt-of-the-earth people who simply said, “It’s fine, they can each have their share,” even though the deceased specifically left the home to the one child.

When it came time to review offers, all four children came to our old office on Merton Street, but each of them sat in a different room.  In fact, we used to have two buildings next-door to each other, one at 276 Merton Street and one at 290 Merton Street, and to ensure the four siblings didn’t see one another, let alone interact, we put two of them in two different offices, on two different floors in 276 Merton Street, and the other two were situated in two offices, in two different floors, at 290 Merton Street.

This is an extreme case but, unfortunately, it’s not uncommon.

As I said, sometimes we know this is the case in advance, and sometimes the siblings start to disagree (or worse) as the sale process goes on.

Even though I’m often dealing with clients who are twenty or thirty years my senior, I tell them in advance that the sale process might cause some friction with their siblings.

It’s just like the advice I give people when they’re planning a wedding:

Weddings are beautiful.  Weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime event that you will cherish forever.  But there is going to be one person who gets on your nerves, undermines you, challenges you, bothers you, and/or doesn’t support you throughout the process of planning and executing the wedding, and you don’t know who that’s going to be.

Am I wrong?

Most of you are married, so tell me there’s not always that one person.

It could be the bride’s mother.  Then again, it could be the groom’s too.  Maybe it’s a bridesmaid?  Yes, I could definitely see that.  How about an absentee father?  Or a nosey aunt?

There’s always that one person and you don’t know until the friction is already underway.

The same is often true of selling an estate or your parents’ home when there are multiple siblings.

Imagine a family of five being able to sell their parents’ house without a single issue.  Because I can’t.

My cup isn’t half-empty here, folks.  I’m just being realistic, and this is coming from my experience.

I’ve seen all kinds of reasons for disagreement, and the tough part is, it’s usually the sibling doing the best job and the most work that gets dumped on.  Picture the sibling who isn’t involved, or isn’t present, but who wants to suddenly take charge at the 1th hour, or who attempts to change course after plans are already underway.  So many times, I find myself telling that lead sibling, “Don’t expect a ‘thank you’ when this is done.”

Siblings can disagree or fight for a multitude of reasons and, sadly, every estate sale or relocation of elderly parents provides new things for siblings to quarrel over.

I worked with an elderly couple once who were looking to downsize to a condo and I worked closely with one of the two adult children during the process.  But the other adult child would routinely email me, privately, and tell me where he wanted the parents to relocate to and how

 

 

You might have a different plan than one of the other children, heirs, or executors.

Picking up on the theme above, this is often where much of the friction comes from.

There are many ways to sell home in Toronto, and when it comes to an estate sale or selling your own parents’ home, there are all kinds of different variables, obstacles, and paths that you could take.

 

 

You might feel nostalgic going through old things.

 

 

You might encounter a “neighbourhood genius” or two.

 

 

You might not understand the current market conditions.

 

 

You might need help with the tax implications.

 

 

You might encounter issues with vacancy tax or increased insurance premiums.